Inspired by my comment to a tweet that I saw by Dave Ramsey in my Twitter feed, where he tweeted about a couple who became engaged during his live radio show. Normally, people come on his live radio show to give their debt free scream (they paid off all their debt), this couple also became engaged during the live radio show.
After giving my congratulations and retweeting with my comment of “Love it!” along with hashtags and including @StartMarriage (Start Marriage Right) (a website dedicated in helping you prepare for marriage), I started thinking and tweeted the following question with an explanatory answer. This blog post includes more informative explanatory detail……
Should you invest the time and effort in becoming debt free together before an engagement? Or should each work individually on their own debt?
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. – Genesis 2:24 (KJV) (Bold Emphasis Added)
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
And they twain shall be one flesh: so they are no more twain, but one flesh. – Mark 10:7-8 (KJV) (Bold Emphasis Added)
They’re not one yet. Something to think about…….
If you’re courting. That means you are courting each other with the intent and end goal in mind to marry each other. You can expect an engagement. (Where two people decide to commit to each other and marry. )
Versus dating.
If you’re dating someone you’re just trying the person out. There is no end goal of commitment involved. There’s no declared intent of a marriage or an engagement.
With marriage, a life long vow is made to each other (a man and a woman) before God and man. And a life long covenant is established between you and the other person before God and man. Till death do you part. You become one. Everything that is his becomes hers, everything that is hers becomes his. They become one.
Dating:
(1) Man + (1) Woman = (2) Two Single People (Trying Each Other Out)
If you’re having pre-marital sexual intercourse (sex outside of marriage), then you’re two single people with body and soul damage that only Jesus Christ can deliver and heal you of. Sexual intercourse was designed by God to be participated in within the covenant of marriage. It also consummates the covenant between the two. So when you engage in something that was not designed for you to take place in without the correct qualification or proper parameter (i.e. being married to each other) it brings on a whole set of problems that could have been avoided with two words: —> Marriage Covenant. But that’s another blog post.
Courting:
God + (1) Man + (1) Woman = 2 (Two) Single People (With The End Goal Of Marrying Each Other)
Marriage:
God + (1) Man + (1) Woman + Lifelong Vows + Established Covenant + Witnesses + Marital Sexual Intercourse = (1) One Flesh
Witnesses can be invitees to the ceremony, the minister who marries you, the judge who marries you, those who sign you’re marriage certificate as a witness. They are witnessing the vow that you are making to each other and before God. God is omnipresent. He is every where he sees, hears, and knows all. Nothing gets past him.
So the equity involved and the emotional equity involved in working together in becoming debt free would be justified within the parameters of marriage. Versus not being in a marriage covenant relationship and in more than a platonic relationship.
Platonic:
of, relating to, or having a close relationship in which there is no romance or sex. (Merriam-Webster)
of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex. (Merriam-Webster)
With platonic friends, that’s totally different. Platonic friends don’t have that depth of equity such as courtship, marriage, or liking each other in a more than a platonic way involved in becoming debt free. They are just working on something together as friends with a like (similar or common) interest.
Platonic:
God + (1) Man + (1) Woman = (2) Single People (In A Relationship Marked By The Absence Of Romance Or Sex)
Something to think about……..
For information about Dave Ramsey and the services he offers, please visit http://www.daveramsey.com
For information about Start Marriage Right and the resources that Start Marriage Right offers, please visit http://www.startmarriageright.com
Until Next Time,
Bridget
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